OurWedding Ceremony – Performed by Native American Medicine Man Mario Blackwolf,
What do a Man and Woman do when they are in love and want to spend the rest of their lives together? Well, some couples choose to marry, and that is what Dave and I did this last weekend, April 22, 2017, in Sedona, Arizona. We are now joined together spiritually, and legally as “Man and Woman” or in western terms “Man and Wife”. What a huge blessing.
What does this have to do with being Holistically Healthy? Everything! Being healthy holistically means you are seeking wellness in every area of your life, Mind, Body and Spirit. Of course, you don’t have to get married to have a healthy loving relationship. This was a personal choice between my Husband and me.
Relationships are an integral part of living a healthy life. In the “Blue Zones”, places that have the highest concentration of centurions, there are a few common factors in each area. When the lifestyle of people in “Blue Zone” communities were studied, there were some common threads. Diet is a huge factor, eating whole, organic, local, seasonal foods were key. Physical activity also plays a huge role. Not going to the gym and “working out”, physical activity was integrated into their daily lives. Nature walks, farming, cooking, gardening, walking vs driving and playing! But one of the factors many people don’t think about in association with longevity is our human relationships. People who isolate do not live as long and are not as happy. People who have strong relationships live longer, happier lives. Imagine that! Think about how our western society has changed. We often don’t even know who our neighbors are! We have social media to stay in touch with our “friends”. We text, we don’t talk we “like” posts and Snapchat. I think we all agree there are benefits to modern technology, but we are losing that human connection that is so important.
FAMILY IS VERY IMPORTANT
I love something I heard from my life coach teacher, Richard Seaman. He said, “relationships are the training ground of the Holy Spirit”. I believe this to be true. Relationships of every kind, family, friends, children, and spouses, especially spouses. In a romantic love relationship, it is a relationship you CHOOSE to be in. As much as we may love our family, you don’t get to choose them, but you do choose who you share your life with. When it comes to a life partnership, a relationship where two people promise to live together, stand by each other through thick and thin, you have to be willing to let the Holy Spirit work on you both, teaching you things you could never know about yourself left to your own selfish ways.
WE ARE NOT DESIGNED TO LIVE ALONE
In a love relationship, two people meet, and there is an attraction. In the beginning, you have EVERYTHING IN COMMON! You form your relationship on an attraction, and all the commonalities you share. As time passes, that “chemical” in your brain that makes you float on clouds starts to dissipate and you come back to reality. Pretty soon you realize how different you are from your partner. This is where the rubber hits the road. You may decide that you don’t want to change to “fit” into this person’s life, or, should you choose to proceed, something amazing can happen. This is when the “training” begins”.
Society today teaches us we should be INDEPENDENT and STRONG. We should not let anyone change WHO WE ARE! It’s common to hear people say things like, “I don’t NEED a man (or woman), I am confident in myself, I don’t NEED anyone to make me happy. Or, “I won’t sacrifice myself to make someone else happy”. All this may be true, but the truth is we live in a self-absorbed culture. It is much easier to live our life our own way. But, do we really grow when we stay in our comfort zone and do life OUR WAY? I don’t believe we can grow to our fullest potential when we live life only for ourselves. God created us to be relational, he created us to desire love and companionship.
This does not mean if we are not “married” or in a committed relationship we cannot be happy or grow, I just think that if we are someone who decides to participate in a committed relationship, there are unique lessons to be learned that we cannot learn any other way.
Dave and I are very different people. We share commonalities, our core principle values are the same. It is essential for two people to share core values. We all agree there are different lifestyles. For two people to be successful in a relationship, they must possess similar values and lifestyles to be compatible. Dave and I have that, but beyond that, we are two very different people. I guess I would be pegged as Type A, Dave is not. I want things clean, orderly and planned. Dave is laid back, could care less if the bed is not made or if the future is not perfectly clear. He has a strong faith and believes everything will be ok, I lack faith, in that if I don’t have a plan, chaos is sure to ensue. Neither one of us is right or wrong, but a healthier place for both of us to be is somewhere in the middle. In the process of being in a relationship with each other, the Holy Spirit is teaching us both a new way to look at things. Life is not black and white, we certainly can plan, but we cannot control everything (as I like to think I am able to do, yea, doesn’t work so well). We are IN TRAINING! We are teaching each other love and tolerance, and how to live happily through chaos and order because both things can be present on any given day. I love learning from this man I love with all of my heart.
Granted, relationships are not always easy. You do have to be willing to compromise certain things. I am not talking about compromising your core values, that would not be healthy. Relationships take work. You must be willing NOT to GIVE and TAKE, but to GIVE and GIVE, and then give some more. You see, when both are GIVING, we are both RECEIVING, That is how that works. It is work, but the rewards of navigating through the joys and challenges of a relationship are so rewarding. You truly learn more about yourself than you could ever learn through a solo journey.
My life has changed so much over the past 3 years. That is when I started my journey to Wellness. I have learned how to love myself and care for myself through my holistic practices of nutrition, spirituality and being open to what the Universe brings into my life. These changes have allowed me to be the best version of myself. I discovered that even though becoming healthy was the goal, it was not meant to be the destination, it was the start of a life beyond my wildest dreams. A life filled with Love, Lessons, and Discovery. I discovered I was not meant to travel this road alone, I have a partner who supports my dreams and aspirations, and I support his. Dave is my biggest cheerleader!
I am a healer, and I have a purpose on this planet, as does my Husband. We are so excited to cheer each other on and travel this road together. I cannot wait to learn all the lessons the Holy Spirit has to teach me through this amazing relationship, and all the relationships I have been blessed with in this life.