‘What comes to mind when someone talks about “your inner child”? I used to think of the inner child as that innocent, carefree, hopeful, silly person deep inside that we somehow lost track of as life progressed, and the responsibilities of life began to weigh us down. I allowed myself to believe that we all used to be innocent and carefree as children and somehow we needed to find our way back to that “inner child” in order to live life to the fullest. While this can be true, for many of us, myself included, I did some reflecting and realized something life changing, I realized I don’t ever remember being a carefree, innocent, secure, hopeful child. For me, and like many others, my childhood was riddled with trauma and dysfunction. My parents, whom I loved very much, were wounded warriors themselves. They also carried inside of them a wounded inner child .
“I am talking about the whining little brat that lives in the back room of our mind, that unhappy victim who always can be relied upon to blame everyone else for our unhappiness.” Sound familiar? The wounded inner child does not want us to look at the pain and suffering we have endured, it can’t! It is not capable of processing such deeply disturbing emotions, so it holds onto the pain like a tattered teddy bear, refusing to let go of the old, worn out, broken companion. The wounded inner child never allows for something new that could bring comfort and joy to it’s life. That tattered teddy bear may look like a useless toy to anyone else, but for the wounded inner child, it’s the only comfort it knows.
“Our spiritual evolution depends heavily upon our recovery from the worst addiction, our addiction to the victim archetype, which traps us in the past and saps our life energy. The inner child represents nothing but a metaphor for our wounded, cutesy form of victim consciousness”
It always seems to go back to our childhood. What is the infamous line you hear every shrink use? “Tell me about your childhood”. It makes perfect sense. We form our opinions of the world around us by what we observe from our earliest caregivers, usually our parents, but not always (which could be a traumatic event in itself).
Holding onto your inner child only holds you back, because that child represents your past wounds. While you want to move on with your life, you may be surprised to find that your inner child may want to move on too! How is this possible? There is a lot of tools out there to help one release their painful pasts. There is therapy and medication, (which we know does not release the pain, it only masks it). Often times we self-medicate, setting ourselves up to become addicted to anything that numbs the pain and further stunts our ability to “grow up” and live the life we always dreamed of. What is holding you back from releasing your “wounded inner child”?
We are now grown up, it is time to let go, We must be willing to do the work if we are to “grow up”. Being a Certified Life Coach and Certified Hypnotherapist, I believe in the power of Holistic Healing. I would like to suggest a meditation that could be life changing. It is a meditation script in which we can come face to face with this wounded child and set it free. Are you ready to let go?
Sit comfortably, and take three deep breaths allow your body to relax. . Notice any areas of your body that remain tight. Consciously relax them, knowing that during this meditation your body will continue to relax with every breath you take, and soon you will be profoundly relaxed from head to toe. Now look inside yourself and find the room in which sits the young person who has willingly carried your pain. Find the inner child who holds your memories of being abused, ignored, betrayed, abandoned, unaccepted, unloved. As you come upon this little person in that room, notice that he or she is surrounded by ledgers and score lists. The walls of the room are covered with people’s names, what they did to you and what punishment they deserve. In the ledgers, the child keeps a careful tally of all the times someone victimized you and what it cost you. Notice the joylessness of this room. As you look at this young child, realize how sad he or she really feels locked down there alone with the pain, mired down in victim consciousness. Realizing that it is time for a change, you walk across the room and throw open the windows to let in the light. As the sun floods into the room, the ink on the wall charts starts to fade and the books start to crumble and become dust. The lists on the wall also fall to the ground and crumble. Look at the little person who has lived in this room for all those years, a prisoner of sorts. It has been keeping resentment scores day by day. See his/her broad smile and joyous expression, knowing you have come to set him/her FREE! “Now I am free to go,” the child says. “Go where?” You ask. “I’m free to go to the next place. I should have left years ago, but I’ve been waiting for you to release me from this job.” Suddenly you notice that this person, who was young and childlike such a short while ago, is growing old and becoming wizened and grey-haired right before your eyes. Yet, a great peace has replaced his or her sadness. “Thank you for letting me go,” he/she whispers in gratitude. Please unlock the door and let me go. You look into your hand, and suddenly you are holding a large key, you know what you are to do with it. You say, “I’m sorry it’s taken so long to bring light into this room. I’m sorry I’ve held you back.” “That’s quite alright,” comes the quiet reply. “It really is okay. Time is just an illusion anyway. ” With that, the little person walks towards you, you see that there is has a keyhole over his/her heart. You gently insert the key and turn the lock. A little door above his/her heart opens and a rush of stale, heavy wind rushes out and is released from the soul of the wounded child. The physical body is released from all the pain, suffering, resentments, hurts and sorrow, he/she is free! As you notice the room feels stale and heavy with the negative air/energy that has been released, suddenly a gush of wind rushes into the light filled room and sweeps away all the dark, heavy air that filled the room only a moment ago. He/she is free from the life that has held it prisoner to all the pain. He/She looks peaceful and serene. Lovingly, you wrap your arms around this inner child. You embrace him/her and you are both filled with an energy so powerful, so beautiful, a surge of hope, love, peace and happiness wash over you both. You take the key and realize you must unlock the door to let your inner child free to live the life it has wanted to live. You unlock the door and she/he goes upstairs and out into the light. There waits a horse and buggy, and angels hover nearby. A choir of angels sings softly. All the people who have ever been in your life are waiting to pay their respects and shower you both with love. All past hurts are forgiven. Love is everywhere. The bells on the horse and buggy ring softly as the entourage slowly begins its journey to the hill where celebration has been prepared. At the celebration site, everyone sings and great joy envelops the group. Your angels are with you and support you as you say your last farewell. See the little person slowly being carried away by the angels, the celestial choir sings. As the child grows smaller and smaller with the distance, you feel a new sense of freedom and love moving through you. You walk to the bottom of the hill where you find a fast running stream. You wash your hands and your face in the water and see your reflection in the water. You feel the cleansing water of the stream running through your being, taking with it all the dust and debris from the room where the little person once dwelt. Hear the sound of the water babbling over the rocks. See the sun sparkling on the water, and feel the warmth of the sun on your body. Notice the green of the surrounding fields and the many bright flowers around. All is well. Open your eyes whenever you feel ready to do so.
Being without your wounded inner child will feel strange for a while, but you also will begin to notice some positive changes. You will feel lighter, less burdened, more in the moment. Your life energy will increase as you retrieve the energy that previously was spent holding onto the wounds of the inner child. Be prepared to encounter problems with close friends with whom you previously spent time sharing wounds. They will not like the change in you, for they will see that you no longer give your wounds power. Since they remain committed to their wounds, they may be uncomfortable with you; they may even begin feeling as if you have betrayed them. If you are member of a support group that thrives on the sharing of wounds, be prepared to disconnect yourself from the group. You probably will find your need to attend group meetings diminishing . Stick to your guns, and do not take personally other people’s attempts to disconnect from you or talk of betrayal. These people will come around eventually and probably will want some of what they see you have gained. You now see limitless potential. You no longer carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. You no longer carry around the shame and guilt that was a part of your woundedness. YOU ARE FREE!
This meditation is a example of one of many wonderful guided imagery or hypnotherapy scripts that can be used to help you transcend. You may try it by yourself. It might be helpful to read the script and record the story so that you are free to visualize the powerful images.
I would highly recommend that you work with a skilled Certified Hypnotherapist and Life Coach like myself to work through releasing your Wounded Inner Child. What have you got to lose? That’s right, pain, depression, anxiety, shame and fear. You have the rest of your life waiting for you to live. And like me, the struggles you overcome will become a great source of strength. Your “MESS” can become your “MESSage”!